I heard a joke once: Man goes to the doctor. Says he’s depressed, life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. “But Doctor” he says, “I am Pagliacci.”
How to get a girlfriend:
- Go up to her and say, “Before I met you, the sun was like a yellow grape, but now it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me.”
- Nickname her “Dandelion”
- Tell her you’d throw your pie for her, and then proceed to do so, in a violent manner, toward a fellow near said conquest.
and whatever you do, DO NOT piss on the floor of her shared bunk while she sleeps